It Gets Better Than What?

I often get in debates with my mother about how good she did as a mother raising a child. She doesn't think she did all that good of a job. This is probably the opinion of most good mothers. It's much like an artist (any creator, really). Whatever we write, paint or produce is never good enough. We're fabulous creators, but at the end of the day no one can convince us that our award winning piece is as good as it really is. Same with mothers. The good ones will never be able to realize they've done their best and raised something incredible. This is strange to me especially since mine seems to be on the same page that I turned out alright. Yet she still doubts doing a good job raising what has become so great.

If you ask me, the end result is the proof that you've done a good job. However, ask certain people and they'll never agree that baptism by fire is a good method no matter what a great metal it produces. It all brings up thoughts on this "It Gets Better" campaign that continues to rear its head from time to time. It appears the beginning of the 21st century has been dedicated in part to saving our battered bullied teens. Which is both lovely and a bone of contention with me. Nobody saved us and now just because kids are seen as more vulnerable we have to tell them not to worry ... it gets better. 

I'm trying to think of someone fabulous I adore, admire and respect who was not born from great tragedy and  strife. I can't think of anyone. Can you? Please tell me because the older I get the happier I am when someone can tell me one of my long standing opinions is mistaken.

Which begs the question are we saving lives, creating fierce dragons or crippling the already weak even further? As we say almost weekly on The Fabulous D Show, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. If you're not going to be a warrior then what in the hell are you doing fighting? And if you are fighting then I guess you're a god damned warrior. Slap a name tag on and don't worry about anyone patting you on the head. You just go on right ahead fighting.

It gets better. They keep saying it gets better. It does get better. If you stay on your own course and stick up for what you believe in then it gets better. But it gets better because you make it all better for yourself. One day you'll be out from under the thumb that's crushing you. You'll be happy you were true to yourself after that. Then you can build your empire far away from all those people you didn't like.

I am who I am. I'm strong and born to be brave. Few people stopped to pat me on the head. I got my support and I sought my shelter when the shit storms came. I got it all by myself. Crafty, no? Nobody reached out and offered a supportive shoulder. And when I held the knife to my wrists I made sure it had more purpose than if I was actually going to kill myself. Don't be silly. The last reason anyone should threaten suicide is to actually do it.

More Closet Dwellers Than You Thought

Recently I came across The OUT Campaign while browsing through the site of scientist Richard Dawkins. I had to click on the link because my first thought was what is this straight atheist scientist doing creating a campaign to help homosexuals? Come to find out it's a campaign about coming out ... as an atheist. It's true that many people need to come out of the closet for many things, but we rarely think of anything else but the coming out of the homosexual variety.

This all got me thinking about how much pressure an atheist has coming out in comparison to a gay, bisexual or transgendered person. Could there be even more social stigma and black sheepery cast upon an atheist than that of a closeted gay? It's a tough call to make. In the end it's all pretty damning depending upon the when and where. At the moment it may be worse to be an atheist than gay. As sexuality begins to be less of a horror, believing in God is still mainstream The Way to Be.

As a teenager it was difficult to come out of the closet as being bisexual or gay. (I did both.) While I never believed in coming out to everyone as particularly necessary, I do see it important today. For one it just makes life more simple. You shouldn't have to go through life protecting pronouns when you talk about your ... significant other. Clawing desperately throughout each conversation to talk about the one you love or the places you go, trying your best never to be completely clear and out yourself. It's a pain in the ass. When I talk about my husband I don't want anyone to raise a brow. On the other hand I still don't come out. I just am. Those who can not tell my sexuality from my personality likewise don't become surprised when I inadvertently come out in conversation. That's thankfully the world a lot of us live in today. Few people are surprised to find "a gay" among them.

Which is exactly it. We're finally in agreement that there are gays everywhere but how many people assume that there is an atheist among them? Just about as many who think there is a wiccan or satanist among them. Unfortunately it's yet another something that few people are thinking about. It's uncool. It's out of the ordinary. It's not on TV. Hit and miss throughout society you will find people who can accept you for being an atheist, but there are very few who aren't nervous about the conversation.

I am an atheist. I find that I can't discuss it much. I am also gay. I find that I can discuss that - a lot. People will accept me talking about my partner as my husband. The state will give us equal rights as those whom are married. They will all smile and nod throughout the entire gay situation, but not the atheist situation. Just the other day I was having an open conversation in a room with several folks discussing what each of us believed. One was Mormon, the other Lutheran and the other was non-church attending Christian. I noticed that when the conversation swung in my direction and I stated I had no interest in God, religion and was an atheist it got quieter.

It wasn't until I brought up my opinion that I don't care what people believe or think as long as they keep it in their back yard and allow me to think what I want for my own life. Then everyone was in agreement and continued on discussing freedom of religion. Isn't it odd how they felt an atheist point of view was included in freedom of religion? Freedom of religion is no religion, that's for sure.

Perhaps why it gets quieter when an atheist is discovered among the God fearing is that no matter how you slice it, you can't help but realize the atheist most likely thinks you're an idiot. There they are talking about feeding a unicorn and I'm in the same conversation saying unicorns don't exist.

While I don't believe in God I do believe in a lot of things. I can agree to a lot of cosmic theories and such things because they are universe-based. But I certainly do not believe in the existence of an angry sky daddy waiting to send me to the fire pit. I don't believe in churches or books written by men pretending they are the word of a god. If we want to talk about how everything is connected and there is beauty everywhere, then we're good. That's not religion, that's science and reality. It really is the truth as it's right there in front of us. The religious God has no proof backing his existence. If you want to discuss the stars in the sky and how we are all linked in some amazing way then let's, because we are.

Nature is beautiful. The galaxy is amazing. Our link to everything and what consciousness may be within that is incredible. Eternal life on a cellular level is something all by itself, let alone what more there may be to that. It is what it is without an unknown oracle in a golden chair upon a cloud.

One could go on forever discussing their beliefs and that's why it's such an enormous can of worms. But like most cans of worms it is important to pop that top. We're left with this hard to discuss subject that needs to be discussed as to lose it's ridiculous shock value. Just like men having sex with men and women transitioning to live their lives as men. Yet there are so many different personal definitions of "atheist" just like there are of a religious person or a gay person. And unfortunately when someone says they are atheist everyone assumes it is a black and white Gothic angry statement saying they believe in nothing.

Therefore I'll leave it there with the statement that it is not black and white. It is not Gothic or angry. I'm an atheist, but that doesn't mean I don't think there's something to life. Just not God.

In a Drunken Galaxy Far, Far Away

It's no wonder that people have such a hard time allowing gay marriage. Especially when in some states like Georgia they are still quarrelling over whether or not to allow people to purchase alcohol on Sundays! A bone of contention with me when living in Atlanta. In the state of Georgia they still have not been able to smack down the Christian right-wing fools and "convince" the senate for Sunday sales.

It's another bleak picture for change. Just because most of the country is doing it does not mean that everybody is doing it! In Georgia there is nothing out of the ordinary about thinking you can't pick up a six pack of beer on a Sunday for your day at the park. It's as if it's normal for people to not be allowed to do this.

After living on the west coast it is unfathomable that such steep laws against alcohol sales even exist. What is the matter with people? What does the restriction of alcohol sales on a Sunday help to do? Aside from rape the state of beneficial tax revenue and many other fabulous benefits. The only thing it does is pack the liquor stores on a Saturday night with people stocking up for their Sunday festivities. That along with leaving some very depressed alcoholics on a Sunday who forgot or ran out of their life-saving beverage first thing Sunday morning. I know you're wondering how could someone dependent on booze forget to purchase it on Saturday, but trust me it happens.

Have they not learned yet that if someone wants to do something, they're going to do it? It doesn't matter what laws are in place or how many electric fences are erected to keep a person out. They're going to do what they want when they want. You can arrest, fine and lethally inject people to stop them from doing something, but there will always be someone else following right behind to do it anyway. Is that a good argument for letting people do what they want? Yes, in most cases. Especially when it comes to that wise logic of do whatever you will as long as it's not hurting anybody else.

The only defense they provide for not selling liquor on a Sunday is keeping people on the straight and narrow with the Lord Jesus Christ. Which continues to boggle the mind because in the real world there is no Lord Jesus Christ and anyone I've ever met on the straight and narrow are the crookedest folks you could meet.

Buying alcohol on Sundays will keep people "good." Don't let people do what they want. People can't be trusted to take care of themselves. Is that how it is? Protecting the sanctity of the good folk. Those whom button up those blouses and fasten their neckties real tight, worshiping false idols in expensive churches run by child molesters and slipping politicians bribe checks under bathroom stalls. Those whom go home and close the blinds to practice all the sinful atrocious acts they preach against. But that's alright, because they do it in private.

What is the matter with people?

10 Commandments of a Realist

1 - People should be able to live and work around each other knowing the what people really think about each other.

2 - Ethics should not be treated as laws that can be broken. People are too afraid of breaking some invisible line that people don't say this or just don't do that. Perfectly legal things, too.

3 - If someone calls you an idiot you should have the ability to pause and honestly consider the fact that you may currently be acting like an idiot.

4 - Know yourself. Big meanies should be completely aware that they are indeed big meanies. Just as the meek quite mousy also need to realize.

5 - Love who you are. If you aren't happy with being a big meanie then why the hell are you being something you didn't want to be? It's terribly frustrating when someone rails against themselves their entire lives when they can be whoever they want to be. (They're just afraid to be it.)

6 - Don't be surprised. What's so surprising about it?

7 - They think what they think. You think what you think. Why are you both going back and forth telling each other how "it" is if you know that neither will ever change their tune?

8 - Stop wasting time! It's bad enough that most of the things inserted into life has been inserted with no other goal than to waste it. If you are allowing things within your control to waste your time you are an idiot.

9 - Social norms are far too normal to participate in. If you have been outcast due to not following along, please be thankful. If you can't be at least 75% of who you really are in everything you do, willingly or unwillingly, you should find something else to do.

10 - Being yourself, doing and saying what you want, walks a fine line with what the human race has decided to allow. In summary for this and all ten, quit being an idiot.

Wanted: Idiots

It never ceases to amaze me that an employer would rather hire a lying fake individual than a truthful candid one. Time and time again they hire the candidate who answers all the "right" questions and plays their game, only to find out months or even just a few weeks later that they've chosen yet another dud. Thus wasting time and money. To which the employer then exclaims, "I thought they were such a good fit!"

All because they found someone who answered all the right questions and stepped outside of the box at the times they thought the person should. If they seem too good to be true, they probably are. Personally, I'd rather hire the person who comes in a little disheveled. The person who doesn't go out of their way to disagree or challenge me at my own interview, but the one who seems to be talking freely without thinking I might be expecting constant scripted response.

Here's a thought for the employers out there. How about starting the interview out with, "Are you and idiot?" Maybe ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to. "Do you like my hair cut?" Perhaps, "Do you like my shoes?" All slightly good questions to determine if the candidate is in fact an idiot. For example if they like your hair and your shoes, they're probably lying. Who likes both your hair and your shoes? And if they really do, do you want someone on your team who likes you that much?

To me playing the game in an interview is the equivalent of all of Hitler's cabinet telling him there was absolutly nothing wrong with exterminating the Jews. It's why I never worked out with high level corporate position interviews. If you interview with HR and don't answer the cookie cutter question with one of their cookie cutter answers, you won't be getting that call back. Say what they will, but being inventive, nervy and cutting edge 95% of the time will not get you the position.

The only time being yourself gets you the position of your dreams is if you interview for those few legitimate Craigslist postings posted by employers who are "just like you."

In the world I live in (which has already been determined to not be the world you live in) it's better to fill your corporation with loose cannons than a bunch of bloody sheep afraid to step out of the box. However, on the level of the current reality it's much better to hire the sheep. The governments, corporations and religions of the world have already proven that the sheep are the best way to go. If we had a world run by free thinkers whom had free thinking assistants we might actually have dynamic change and interesting concepts. In the case of our current state of affairs it's much more simple to have the sheeple run by the sheeple. Just because it's easier doesn't make it right.

Perhaps what bothers me most are the ads looking for talented, free thinking, artistic individuals. When it turns out that they were just looking for normal follow-the-leader types pretending to be interesting. If they really want an interesting individual then they just need to sit them down and ask ... are you an idiot? Of course it helps if the hiring party was also not an idiot.

The inspirational portion of today's message, gentle readers, is that while I have kissed an abundant amount of ass I've never really been able to watch my mouth or conform to what they wanted. Yet I've always found myself eventually being the one conducting the interviews instead of the one being interviewed. Being myself to a point has landed me in rather good positions. It's a line I chose to walk and maybe I would have progressed quicker had I been the sheep, my predisposition to be "the wacky one" eventually panned out.

It may be the luck of the draw. The world needs sheeple just as much. The needs of the top would not be met without the worker bee buzzing below. We need the chanting folks who have dedicated their life to meditation just as much as we need the surrealist in town square. But we can't all be charismatic loud mouths. Oddly bringing me back around aching to make another Hitler reference.

Strange Land

Sometimes I look at myself from across the room. There I am on the suede chesterfield watching odd documentaries with my husband about Adolf Hitler's sexual fetishes. My husband whom is in a corset. I am in my pajamas and high heels. Odd canvases slobbered with my imagination cover the walls. Strange artifacts and photos of odd people from around the world fill the shelves. Sipping on some of the best bourbon ever made. How lovely.

To think this is not how the people live. To think they have to hide out under disguises of normalcy when no one is really all that normal. To live shielded by a job, religion, particularly plain clothes and accessories. To come home at night and watch what everyone else is watching. All in the home furnished from the store that everyone else goes to and purchases a duplicate of the same thing.

No, it's much better to be myself with all the other people who want to be themselves. The domme queens and plumbers in sissy uniforms. The midgets who like to dress up like pirates. The metal heads relieving themselves on loud. There's no shame or guilt in a true lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with daddy wearing a diaper for kicks or your climbing a mountain to worship no body. 


It's always been a circus that I've slaved my way towards. A good release of personality into a Rocky Horror Picture Show life. To think they'd want anything else. Jesus on a crucifix and a three piece suit life? They'd prefer it. It was death to me. Death to a great imagination and death by a non-existent shameful guilt. Yet they run towards that because they're scared. Too scared to be who they want to be. Whatever that might be. Maybe because it's a little too hardcore and nobody gave them their safe word.

I'll stay up here. I'll keep watching the Sheeple move along and think it must be some odd Sci-Fi series. No one needs to tell me it's real. Surely no one in their right mind would want the things they say they do. Crazy is sane and sane is crazy down here on planet Earth.

Zodiac Killer

I found it a bold move to change the zodiac signs (LINK) even though grounds had been found to do so. Growing up in a zodiac-obsessed mindset I know how important it is to know, "What's your sign!?" Changing it all of a sudden must have really sent some people into a tail spin. Telling a Leo they are no longer a Leo is like telling a Catholic that the church is a fairytale and Jesus killed their puppy.

In fact I was so surprised by the announcement because I was of the understanding that no matter what inconclusive evidence stood to change a tradition, people just don't do that. It's right up there with religion and politics. Even though we know some political agendas are a horror, that doesn't stop us from thinking people ought to hold fast to them due to tradition. Just because Grandpa voted for a Republican means you should too, it doesn't matter what that Republican may stand for. Just because science has disproved the existence of a Sky Daddy and history has exposed religion as a scam, you are expected to continue to subscribe.

Like an adult forcing their children to believe in Santa Clause we stick to the zodiac we know as much as we believe the horoscopes we read in the paper. Although there is something to be said about the truth to falling under a certain constellation, however on the other side of things you can fit into a lot of the zodiac descriptions just as much as any horoscope could be tailor-made to suite what happened last week.

Honestly I did breath a sigh when I found I made the cut off for Leo. I am a fiery rapturous angry creature who thinks he or she is king of the jungle. Knowing other Leos who are now Cancers makes me think they must be awfully pissed. The kings and queens have been dethroned and that is exactly what it's going to feel like for any Leo.

Looking around at the articles that have popped up the titles say it all. Zodiac Change Causes Panic, Zodiac Shift: A Real Mood Killer, Changes in Zodiac Cause Identity Crisis... On one hand I can say that if you needed to be defined my traits connected to constellations - you didn't have an identity to begin with. On the other hand we align ourselves with what we want to be. And telling me I am no longer labeled a Leo by society would be telling me that my name isn't really The Artist D!

Is it True that When You Were Born the Doctor Turned Around and Slapped Your Mother?

Some people are mean. I know, you figured that out already. I'm a very fortunate person that I get to usually live with my head in a universe designed by myself. Some days I get to experience what other people regularly experience or just knew already. Such things include gay marriage is illegal, transgendered folk are not totally accepted, free spirits are shit upon and a high school education actually matters.

Recently in the midst of a business transaction someone was actually quite rude to me for no particular reason other than they are a really bitter upset human being. The individual in question was so blatantly mean to everyone throughout the transaction that it was impossible not to note. Which in turn made me think just how terrible some people are for no particular reason. I may walk around calling people idiots and pointing out their flaws, but it's always a valid approach. You've got to show me you are an idiot. I can not just walk up to anyone and call them an idiot. I can not insult someone I do not know. I can not point out what I think is a flaw without taking the time to know there's something to be pointed out.

This person though, Sweet Jesus. It just makes me wonder the most simple things there are to wonder. Why are you such a fucking asshole? I suppose what it all boils down to is there are enough people and things in this world to be bitter, mean, angry and violent towards. That being said, some people have decided to wreak their vengeance upon small kittens too? It's slimy. A slimy way to be.

In a lot of ways it's like a villain in a Disney Movie. These characters whom were Just Plain Mean™. Who knew that there were real people in the world like that? A creature so vile and pointless that they are insulting slimy personalities just because. Just because someone stole their puppy once upon a time.

The moral of the story is grow up and find something to direct your ruthlessly stupid behavior towards. That is, something that provokes anger and not just the egotistical urge to steamroll the innocent. Either that or hire a Dominatrix and release your tensions by have your testicles squeezed into a small cage with needles. Believe me, it's worth a try. I know those guys!

Where have all the Cowboys gone?

"They" say time on the Internet moves much quicker than time in reality. I've lived on the Internet a long time and after taking almost a year away to live amongst non-Internet folk, I come back to find myself in The Twilight Zone. It's your usual story about the man who goes into the bomb shelter and comes out to find ...

What does he find? It could be exactly what he saw before he went underground. He may find that a new city of the future has sprung up. He could peek his head out to discover alien spaceships whirling around firing at Terminator robots 100-stories tall! He may find a planet completely run by meerkats (pictured right).

I've poked my head above ground back into the Internet planet to find that people have done what people do best: Fuck it up further. Where in the hell is everyone? I swear, I leave you alone with your tinker toys and Playboy Magazine for one second and you ruined it. Didn't you? It looks like a lot of folks have become bored with the Internet. I sauntered around and it looks like most people spend times reading Huffington Post and spending hours refreshing their Facebook page. Oops! There I go showing my age. Pages refresh themselves in the 21st Century.

People aren't networking like they used to and that makes me smile. It's Facebook or bust. The good thing about Facebook though is it appears to have obliterated what us Oldsters call "The Blog." They have this thing over on Facebook called "Notes." You write notes and your friends read the notes, but they aren't really blogs and it's given people permission to no longer say anything of comment. Just notes. Just Post-it's on the refrigerator door. It's what the sheeple always wanted. A boring dream come true. A snapshot of the nation.

There are plenty of blogging platforms left, but people are terrified to share their opinion on the Internet anymore. That's Facebook's fault too. They are the ones who gave a crushing blow to the grass roots of Internet anonymity. Anonymity was the way we Internet Super Stars meant it to be, my dear Internet babies.

I've come to find that there are very few "good" blog network communities. This makes me smile too because if it's harder to find bloggers then there appears to be less of them. While I'm certain there are not less of them, they do appear to be a background whisper to what people now use the Internet for. Opinions and commentary are still everywhere, but it was always the infringement upon the personal blogger / webmistress domains that got me riled. Leave us alone. Leave Britney alone!

I sat and pondered on an Internet tree next to a beautiful Internet lake as to what my Internet has become. Remember the days when everything was personal site driven? I would never have signed up for any service to help me do anything (post picture, movies, blogs, etc.). It was all setup on my own domain and nobody got a piece of my pie. That was the point of growing up to be The Internet's First Super Star. Learn to do it yourself and screw everybody else. But now it's been flipped and reversed. All celebrities, personalities, friends and your neighbor's cat prefer to just have a domain with links to other places. An interesting change. Change I can not believe in, but change I can deal with. Thanks for the simplification, guys.

So I return with a site and links, because I have better things to do than design fully structured sites. I have things to say, just like everyone else, and instead of working on the layout I'd much rather say it, type it, speak it, record it. If "they" want their Internet to be streamlined with neutral walls and art from Posters.com on the wall, that's just dandy because the Internet goes psychedelic with me in it even if it is a streamlined P.O.S.

As my first act of returning to the throne I will be appearing LIVE on Cotolo Chronicles this Thursday at 6PM PST / 9PM EST to do our annual Roll Call From the Bone Garden! We will be reviewing this year's dead in the most refreshing of ways. You must tune in! (http://cotolochronicles.blogspot.com/)

I have poked my head out of the Internet top soil. Now where the hell has everyone gone!? Welcome to the Internet of the future. Fucking meerkats everywhere ...