Strange Land

Sometimes I look at myself from across the room. There I am on the suede chesterfield watching odd documentaries with my husband about Adolf Hitler's sexual fetishes. My husband whom is in a corset. I am in my pajamas and high heels. Odd canvases slobbered with my imagination cover the walls. Strange artifacts and photos of odd people from around the world fill the shelves. Sipping on some of the best bourbon ever made. How lovely.

To think this is not how the people live. To think they have to hide out under disguises of normalcy when no one is really all that normal. To live shielded by a job, religion, particularly plain clothes and accessories. To come home at night and watch what everyone else is watching. All in the home furnished from the store that everyone else goes to and purchases a duplicate of the same thing.

No, it's much better to be myself with all the other people who want to be themselves. The domme queens and plumbers in sissy uniforms. The midgets who like to dress up like pirates. The metal heads relieving themselves on loud. There's no shame or guilt in a true lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with daddy wearing a diaper for kicks or your climbing a mountain to worship no body. 


It's always been a circus that I've slaved my way towards. A good release of personality into a Rocky Horror Picture Show life. To think they'd want anything else. Jesus on a crucifix and a three piece suit life? They'd prefer it. It was death to me. Death to a great imagination and death by a non-existent shameful guilt. Yet they run towards that because they're scared. Too scared to be who they want to be. Whatever that might be. Maybe because it's a little too hardcore and nobody gave them their safe word.

I'll stay up here. I'll keep watching the Sheeple move along and think it must be some odd Sci-Fi series. No one needs to tell me it's real. Surely no one in their right mind would want the things they say they do. Crazy is sane and sane is crazy down here on planet Earth.

Is it True that When You Were Born the Doctor Turned Around and Slapped Your Mother?

Some people are mean. I know, you figured that out already. I'm a very fortunate person that I get to usually live with my head in a universe designed by myself. Some days I get to experience what other people regularly experience or just knew already. Such things include gay marriage is illegal, transgendered folk are not totally accepted, free spirits are shit upon and a high school education actually matters.

Recently in the midst of a business transaction someone was actually quite rude to me for no particular reason other than they are a really bitter upset human being. The individual in question was so blatantly mean to everyone throughout the transaction that it was impossible not to note. Which in turn made me think just how terrible some people are for no particular reason. I may walk around calling people idiots and pointing out their flaws, but it's always a valid approach. You've got to show me you are an idiot. I can not just walk up to anyone and call them an idiot. I can not insult someone I do not know. I can not point out what I think is a flaw without taking the time to know there's something to be pointed out.

This person though, Sweet Jesus. It just makes me wonder the most simple things there are to wonder. Why are you such a fucking asshole? I suppose what it all boils down to is there are enough people and things in this world to be bitter, mean, angry and violent towards. That being said, some people have decided to wreak their vengeance upon small kittens too? It's slimy. A slimy way to be.

In a lot of ways it's like a villain in a Disney Movie. These characters whom were Just Plain Mean™. Who knew that there were real people in the world like that? A creature so vile and pointless that they are insulting slimy personalities just because. Just because someone stole their puppy once upon a time.

The moral of the story is grow up and find something to direct your ruthlessly stupid behavior towards. That is, something that provokes anger and not just the egotistical urge to steamroll the innocent. Either that or hire a Dominatrix and release your tensions by have your testicles squeezed into a small cage with needles. Believe me, it's worth a try. I know those guys!

Where have all the Cowboys gone?

"They" say time on the Internet moves much quicker than time in reality. I've lived on the Internet a long time and after taking almost a year away to live amongst non-Internet folk, I come back to find myself in The Twilight Zone. It's your usual story about the man who goes into the bomb shelter and comes out to find ...

What does he find? It could be exactly what he saw before he went underground. He may find that a new city of the future has sprung up. He could peek his head out to discover alien spaceships whirling around firing at Terminator robots 100-stories tall! He may find a planet completely run by meerkats (pictured right).

I've poked my head above ground back into the Internet planet to find that people have done what people do best: Fuck it up further. Where in the hell is everyone? I swear, I leave you alone with your tinker toys and Playboy Magazine for one second and you ruined it. Didn't you? It looks like a lot of folks have become bored with the Internet. I sauntered around and it looks like most people spend times reading Huffington Post and spending hours refreshing their Facebook page. Oops! There I go showing my age. Pages refresh themselves in the 21st Century.

People aren't networking like they used to and that makes me smile. It's Facebook or bust. The good thing about Facebook though is it appears to have obliterated what us Oldsters call "The Blog." They have this thing over on Facebook called "Notes." You write notes and your friends read the notes, but they aren't really blogs and it's given people permission to no longer say anything of comment. Just notes. Just Post-it's on the refrigerator door. It's what the sheeple always wanted. A boring dream come true. A snapshot of the nation.

There are plenty of blogging platforms left, but people are terrified to share their opinion on the Internet anymore. That's Facebook's fault too. They are the ones who gave a crushing blow to the grass roots of Internet anonymity. Anonymity was the way we Internet Super Stars meant it to be, my dear Internet babies.

I've come to find that there are very few "good" blog network communities. This makes me smile too because if it's harder to find bloggers then there appears to be less of them. While I'm certain there are not less of them, they do appear to be a background whisper to what people now use the Internet for. Opinions and commentary are still everywhere, but it was always the infringement upon the personal blogger / webmistress domains that got me riled. Leave us alone. Leave Britney alone!

I sat and pondered on an Internet tree next to a beautiful Internet lake as to what my Internet has become. Remember the days when everything was personal site driven? I would never have signed up for any service to help me do anything (post picture, movies, blogs, etc.). It was all setup on my own domain and nobody got a piece of my pie. That was the point of growing up to be The Internet's First Super Star. Learn to do it yourself and screw everybody else. But now it's been flipped and reversed. All celebrities, personalities, friends and your neighbor's cat prefer to just have a domain with links to other places. An interesting change. Change I can not believe in, but change I can deal with. Thanks for the simplification, guys.

So I return with a site and links, because I have better things to do than design fully structured sites. I have things to say, just like everyone else, and instead of working on the layout I'd much rather say it, type it, speak it, record it. If "they" want their Internet to be streamlined with neutral walls and art from Posters.com on the wall, that's just dandy because the Internet goes psychedelic with me in it even if it is a streamlined P.O.S.

As my first act of returning to the throne I will be appearing LIVE on Cotolo Chronicles this Thursday at 6PM PST / 9PM EST to do our annual Roll Call From the Bone Garden! We will be reviewing this year's dead in the most refreshing of ways. You must tune in! (http://cotolochronicles.blogspot.com/)

I have poked my head out of the Internet top soil. Now where the hell has everyone gone!? Welcome to the Internet of the future. Fucking meerkats everywhere ...