Charity Case

I understand the need to "get the word out" for the charity of your choice. We do live in a culture where if the people don't have it shoved down their throat, they won't know or care that the problem exists. After all what American would know anyone in another world is dying of starvation if Annie Lennox didn't tell them?

While having someone's charity shoved in my face today I realized that there can be a fine line with the passionate charity folk. Let me get this straight. You or your friend has fought a deadly disease and now you have dedicated your life to the charitable organization that is fighting for funding care and/or a cure? Understand that I too agree this is important. But when it's all you now do with your life it may just be a bit of a waste.

I want you to survive your deadly disease thanks to the passion of scientists and doctors who have perfected a treatment. After survival I want you to live your life more passionately than ever before because you have no doubt obtained another chance to keep breathing. Put a sign on your car. Get the word out. Do a fund raiser, but if you wake up haunted by the need to raise money to cure everyone and go to bed wishing you could do more ... you're a bit of a nut who needs to focus more on your own damn life than everybody else's.

To those who rally for charitable donations for the cause they care about, I want you to keep in mind that some people do have their own battles to fight. If you are currently residing on this planet and have a brain in your head I would hope you have become passionate about something all on your own. I would like to assume that everyone has chosen the charity case of their choice to support. Of course that's not true and that's why we do have campaigns. Oddly enough people do get well into their lives before they "look" for a cause to support. If you ask me they shouldn't have had to ever look. It should be obvious what they need to do.

I would love to give money to support the cure for AIDS. I'd love to donate some money to feed some starving people in another country. Hell, I'd love to donate money to feed people in my own country (imagine that). I want to fund autism and alzheimer research. The causes to outlaw bullying are on that list too. It would be great but we must eventually realize we can not help everyone. I choose to support transgendered awareness, LGBT issues and the pursuit of spreading fabulousness throughout this entire world. I could be my own damned cause for crying out loud and it's certainly a much required cause (i.e. fabulousness).

Humans want to fix everything and help everybody. They can't. But isn't it funny how we could all agree to get along, work toward cures for free and change our entire structure into a helping futuristic society but yet we keep doing what we've always done? We murder, rape and pillage all the while trying to "help."  It's fascinating, isn't it?

Get Up, Get Out & Do Something

One of my biggest annoyances are people with time and potential who do absolutely nothing. I've been here for quite some time. That is here living loudly in the Underground. I'm a very black and white individual. You either do something or you don't do something. It's all rather simple. And you can't tell me you want to do something big only to cling frighteningly to the small.

I've always had to work in a lot of different facets in order to make it possible for everything I want to be possible. I was only rewarded with small pieces of time where I got to sit for months and work strictly on my art projects. Any other time you will find me working full time jobs with over time and coming home to produce paintings, videos or broadcasts for the rest of my waking hours. I suppose what makes me so hostile towards people with time and inspiration is that they have the time for the inspiration. I have the inspiration but very little time. 

Those few times where I secluded myself in my studio and had the luxury of doing nothing but being The Artist D were disappointing whenever I tried to network my ideas outward. Sure, I can stay in my own world and create my own thing for my own benefit. That made me happy. The point that frustrates is we could create so much more if we just worked together. 

Throughout my art career I've found hundreds of people who are artists "stuck" at home in front of a computer. I've tried to get them to work with me to make what they do bigger and reach even more people. They always fall short. I have never found anyone as ambitious as I am, unless they also have no time to indulge their ambitions. 

It reminds me of those good old movies with the real crazy character with stars in his or her eyes. When they've finally made it to the big city and they grab their friend by the shoulders and say, "With my ideas and your connections we could be big ... big ... BIG! We're going to make it!"

The only time I've found people who will have that moment with me are now dead. They were usually too busy but we had big plans. They saw the potential and wanted to work with me to make it possible. They knew that they could do it alone. I know I can do it alone. But think of how much louder that could all be if there were more people involved! 

Now that I'm rubbing shoulders more than ever I am finding an even more frustrating creature. The individual that created something great, maintains it, is successful with it, but doesn't want to do anything more to make it any better. Sweet Jesus you've worked so hard to put out some grand project and you don't want to make it reach even more people? You don't want to continually redesign your platform to make it even more astounding? I don't understand and it aggravates the hell out of me. 

People happy with what they have made and satisfied are strange to me. I'll never be satisfied until I'm done and I don't plan on ever being done. Until forbid, that is. 

Business Decorum is Bullsh!t

I hate business decorum. In fact I hate all decorum. Even further I hate the word decorum. It stands for everything I stand against.

DECORUM
–noun

1.

dignified propriety of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

2.

the quality or state of being decorous;  orderliness;regularity.

3.

Usually, decorums. an observance or requirement of politesociety.

Propriety of behavior? Ridiculous. Orderliness? Frightening. Polite society? Disgusting. It's all a charade for even more of society's game playing. Truth, honesty and straight forwardness is nearing extinction. Which is almost hilarious when you think of where we come from. We used to be so prim and proper, covering all parts of our bodies at all times and upholding the highest standards of decorum. Today we walk around dressed like hookers and "telling it like it is." Meanwhile we're still being as decorous as ever. We can expose skin, emotions and more but we still can't hurt feelings. The fact that there are feelings to hurt is disturbing. We shouldn't let anything get to us, especially words.

Business decorum is the worst. In social life we are being fake with decorum to achieve something we consider real. In business we are being fake (decorum) within fake constraints (business). It's like living in Candyland and playing Battle Ship with Gloppy (the molasses monster from Candyland). A game within a game within a game equals a whole lot of nothing and a big waste of my time.

I have a friend whom is somewhat a celebrity that society would consider a "has been" as far as pop culture goes. She has continued her celebrity on an Internet basis and has done very well for herself. She has attempted for as long as I've known her to make a "come back." That is as far as society deems a celebrity from the 90's returning to top fame twenty years later.

Since she has been striving online with her celebrity and in turn her business she has been approached by many of the expected media outlets trying to cut deals with her. She's been offered television shows but turns them down. Oprah has approached her to do things and they've never been able to work things out. She's had up to three radio show contracts throughout the last ten years with each of them being cut short and terminated by either herself or the station management.

Never being a famous celebrity anywhere but my own corner of the Internet I always wondered why she just couldn't do it. If you're offered the stars just take them, right? I may have been doing what you know for over ten years now, but I have never tried to network among entities. The corporate big dogs of the Internet who have large audiences that would be interested in what I have to say.

I now understand how my friend can turn down Oprah. There comes a point where there is no more room for negotiation. Talk about compromising your principles. Here we are with such incredibly infuriating things to say about the decorum of society while having to be decorous to be able to say them. Then, in the case of my friend who had accepted the radio show deals, she got to say what she wanted to and then was terminated for saying so. That or her freedom of speech was so heavily restricted that she had to quit.

It makes me think of Rosie O'Donnell. Numerous opportunities to say what she wanted to the world all ending with her being shoved down back into her world. Hilariously she never hid how she felt or what her opinions were, yet once she achieved her position on television everyone was shocked.

One of my goals this year was to pour myself into connecting with everyone I possibly could. I don't need more attention or another platform because I already built my own. However, I just wanted other people to know I'm here and have something to say. Much like my friend I feel my message and interesting way of delivering it would be a superb contribution to anything near mainstream. In doing so I have been easily swept up into this business bullshit. Fake smiles and handshakes all around the room ... the bored room, if you will.

I've discovered that simply asking to write for another person's magazine can turn into this diatribe of how my honesty is unfit for their publications. I'm told to censor this and tone down that. While reaching out trying to "offer my services" to other entities I've quickly discovered this interesting world where I'm extremely unwelcome. Quite frankly I find it invigorating. It's a fight I didn't even know was waiting. It's like being a member of an underground secret society of freaks and finding out you're too freaky for them.

It's certainly frustrating though. You can be a raving freak just so long as you fit the mold of the raving freak they're looking for. As we say frequently on The Fabulous D Show ... You have the freedom of choice, please choose from the options provided and nothing else. 

Decorum ... disgusting.

The Road's Already Been Paved

Looking at old rock star memorabilia makes me sad. It could be the dead god factor. That being when someone dies you put them on a pedestal and make them a god. This gets even worse if they were achieving god status while still alive. While it could be that, it could just be true that something that was will never be again and can never be reproduced.

It's the depression that sets in when I look at Michael Jackon's sparkly glove, Sid Viscious' necklace, Madonna's "Who's That Girl - Tour" red dress or the underwear she wore as an outfit to a fancy awards show. I look at it all. I stared at that necklace thinking about how much sweat and blood it saw. How many parties and good or bad drug trips had it been through?

Those times seem to me like the perfect combination of drugs, fame and money to bake a cake that can never be baked again. I think this because I don't feel the same way when I see Gwen Stefani's outfit or what Katy Perry wore in some video. It's not because I am disconnected from current fame, it's because it's not the same. I love Gwen Stefani, but I hardly wanted to run over and hump her gown like when I saw Stevie Nicks'. Which is why it doesn't seem to be a dead god thing either. Stevie's still alive. So is Madonna. So is Johnny Rotten, well, sort of. But who they are now is so not who they were then. Nor could they be if they want to keep breathing.

Is it a love of a time period instead of a love for a people? Damn right it probably is! We all know Gaga is living in some kind of creative haze and Marilyn Manson will never deviate from his norm, yet it's not the same. I believe it's because those roads have already been paved. You can come flopping down a red carpet in a k-hole dressed in light bulbs, but it will never be like the first time.

Unless I'm getting old and distanced from some sort of glamour. Will your 15 year old visit a museum when they are 50 and see Lady Gaga's egg and outfit on display to get chills down their spine? I don't know about you, but I'll still be staring at Marilyn's dress in the next display.

With every new trail blazer comes the statement that it has all been done and said before. Yet with each generation that becomes more and more true. We're hitting the ceiling for recycled fame creations. You can only remake The Hills Have Eyes so many times. They do it once and it's ground breaking because it's never been done. They do it again because they have the technology to do it right. Why do it again?

Before Monroe there was Harlow and there's been a bunch of Madonna's after Madonna. I wonder if people will ever realize that walking on a paved road is hardly interesting. Just because you never walked on it before doesn't make it interesting. Knowing no one ever has walked on it before is what makes it interesting ...

Mashed Potato Rule, Apple Pie and American Flags

The Mashed Potato Rule = There are so many variables that the connection is meaningless. For example, 99% of prisoners ate mashed potatoes as children; 95% of prisoners on death row at potatoes as children. 


An absolutely incredible definition brought up on this week's The Fabulous D Show by Rainbow Mix's Frankie Dee. Surely, a definition that could sum it up for near 90% of media today. Article after article of vague nonsense that covers ultimately nothing. Yet at the same time satiates the masses and somehow leaves them not asking questions about why there's no content in their daily papers.

This week we had such gems including the news that children whom enjoy 4th of July celebrations will grow up to be Republicans. This ground breaking study by Harvard reveals that a whopping 4% of children enjoying these festivities turned out to be Republicans. A whole four percent? Gods forbid. Meanwhile, they don't seem to mention that 96% of 4th of July event attendee children apparently turned into Democrats.

Hear that and many more Independence Day debauchery as Vanilla Child and I compare/contrast the United States from our British Crown roots. The topic of death comes up mid-way and then we flesh it all out with the President's paycheck. What does he do with all that dough? He doesn't even pay rent!

Listen to The Fabulous D Show downloadable, ipodable, everythingable right here at The Artist D.com. All seasons currently available. Go take a listen! 

Fight the Man, the Man Creeps In

If you don't think it could happen to you, think again. That's what they say. They aren't so off. It's ridiculous to me that no one can have a soap box on the Internet without The Man creeping in. It's why I try at every turn to make the platform mine. That is, the one I own fully and outright. How bloody convincing are you going to be if you post a vlog about anarchist freedom when the first five seconds of your stream is interrupted by a commercial about voting for a politician? How much of a fitness guru are you preaching that you don't need fancy diets or work outs while the feed has a commercial for an energy drink or "how to get a six pack in six minutes." You aren't a rebel. You aren't a maverick when the host of your video interrupts you with a billion sponsors.

Back in the day it used to bother me when there were other people's advertisements surrounding my blog or video. Now they are inserting themselves in the video and nobody has anything to say about it. This is my site, my videos, my platform and I'll be damned if I'm going to take the easiest way to get the word out. Which is why the word doesn't get out. Because you're over there going to the biggest video site or the most popular blogging site to get your fill.

Every week on The Fabulous D Show I try to put together something a little anti. That's anti-whatever. I'll start by Googling for the opposite of what everyone thinks about something. It's hard to find. They've buried us on this Internet contraption. Try to find the truth about a Founding Father or some real statistics on drunken behavior. Good luck!

If you're any bit of anybody anywhere you'll take the time to figure out your own platform. At least use platforms that do not put content in to your own! That's horrific. A practice that should have never been allowed to become OK. I can't believe you've let these ads appear at the bottom of your vlogs. I really can't believe you have allowed an advertiser five seconds before your fans hear what you have to say. I can't believe you stopped designing your own site with your own message where you can control the ads, all because nobody does that anymore. And I can't believe that with all the free internet radio stations on this planet you've sold yourself to an easy format owned by some other guy.

Listen to The Fabulous D Show every Sunday night at 7 PM EST / 12 AM GMT right here at TheArtistD.com. Where we try to give you the anti-opinion and the opposite view with whatever truth is left that we could find from the underground collective. Every episode downloadable now, right here, direct from me to you without interruption from anybody I don't want you to hear.

It Gets Better Than What?

I often get in debates with my mother about how good she did as a mother raising a child. She doesn't think she did all that good of a job. This is probably the opinion of most good mothers. It's much like an artist (any creator, really). Whatever we write, paint or produce is never good enough. We're fabulous creators, but at the end of the day no one can convince us that our award winning piece is as good as it really is. Same with mothers. The good ones will never be able to realize they've done their best and raised something incredible. This is strange to me especially since mine seems to be on the same page that I turned out alright. Yet she still doubts doing a good job raising what has become so great.

If you ask me, the end result is the proof that you've done a good job. However, ask certain people and they'll never agree that baptism by fire is a good method no matter what a great metal it produces. It all brings up thoughts on this "It Gets Better" campaign that continues to rear its head from time to time. It appears the beginning of the 21st century has been dedicated in part to saving our battered bullied teens. Which is both lovely and a bone of contention with me. Nobody saved us and now just because kids are seen as more vulnerable we have to tell them not to worry ... it gets better. 

I'm trying to think of someone fabulous I adore, admire and respect who was not born from great tragedy and  strife. I can't think of anyone. Can you? Please tell me because the older I get the happier I am when someone can tell me one of my long standing opinions is mistaken.

Which begs the question are we saving lives, creating fierce dragons or crippling the already weak even further? As we say almost weekly on The Fabulous D Show, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. If you're not going to be a warrior then what in the hell are you doing fighting? And if you are fighting then I guess you're a god damned warrior. Slap a name tag on and don't worry about anyone patting you on the head. You just go on right ahead fighting.

It gets better. They keep saying it gets better. It does get better. If you stay on your own course and stick up for what you believe in then it gets better. But it gets better because you make it all better for yourself. One day you'll be out from under the thumb that's crushing you. You'll be happy you were true to yourself after that. Then you can build your empire far away from all those people you didn't like.

I am who I am. I'm strong and born to be brave. Few people stopped to pat me on the head. I got my support and I sought my shelter when the shit storms came. I got it all by myself. Crafty, no? Nobody reached out and offered a supportive shoulder. And when I held the knife to my wrists I made sure it had more purpose than if I was actually going to kill myself. Don't be silly. The last reason anyone should threaten suicide is to actually do it.

Osama Bin Laden is Dead!

It would appear that Osama Bin Laden was shot in the head yesterday and captured. If you want an extraterrestrial view, I have one for you. Yet another moment in time where I see people doing something and it does not compute. Seeing all these people chanting and being proud Americans (only at special American occasions such as this) boggles the mind. Watching the initial news report on MSNBC they continuously said, "You will always remember where you were when you heard this news."

No you shouldn't! You remember where you were when 9/11 happened, you remember where you were when JFK was shot and most likely you remember where you were when Princess Diana died. I say this not because you should remember where you were or any of these events should have effected you personally (unless they actually did), but due to the culture we live in and "the way we feel" it just so happens that these big unfortunate muck ups engrave a time in our memories.

Remembering where you were when they killed a terrorist is not really a defining moment. It's a moment. People were standing in the streets chanting as if it was V E Day! Apparently for most Osama was the face of the bogeyman. We've caught and killed the bogeyman, you can go to bed now. Does the war now end? Can we retire the body scanners and begin carrying full bottles of liquid on board? Shall we hold hands and get along with each other?

Has Beens Unite

Let's face it, people like me are all stuck in the best moments of their lives even if it's still some of the best. While brainstorming guests for Season 4 of The Fabulous D Show it was remarked that my list was full of has beens! Upon taking a look it made me realize that I find it very hard to take interest in new things. It's just not that interesting to me if it doesn't have a connection to something that helped spark me originally. That doesn't mean I made a list of people you've already heard on my show (or heard anywhere for that matter). It means I made a list of people who are not particularly on the radar anymore.

What delighted Rosie O'Donnell most on her talk show was having her childhood infatuations on to interview. That theme has been seen again and again on almost anyone's show. There are always new things tantalizing the newest generation. To us it will never be like the stuff we first fell in love with. It's just like how a child born into Myspace has never felt quite right with Facebook. Just like how The Internet's First Super Stars would never feel all that comfortable in the 21st century social networking era of the Internet. I will always want to have more people to interview from before than after, just because it brings me a fuzzy feeling of nostalgia along with unearthing some relics for you all to take a peek at. If we didn't have talk show hosts clinging to their first inspirations there would be far less variety for the new to pick from. Neopostmodernism at it's finest, we've all taken a little of then to make a lot of now.

Did RuPaul bring Michelle Visage on as a regular to RuPaul's Drag Race just because Michelle is fabulous? While that's reason enough that wasn't the reason at all. They were hosting The RuPaul Show when I was just a baby queen. They had history. History with each other and history with all the baby queens they communicated to. What is the first thing I thought when I saw Michelle again? Not about the fierce divas they are, but who they were to me. It's Ru and Michelle back together just like "we were" in 1996!

Health Care vs Natural Selection

Recently getting all of my impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed at the same time was one of those alien experiences for me. The entire process fascinated more than scared me. It was all like a field trip to an observatory, from looking at the neat x-ray of my entire mouth to actually being put under. The recovery process was no walk in the park either. At the same time I wouldn't call it painful and it wasn't annoying at all, at first. It got tedious around week three. It all reminds me that I'm very disconnected on so many levels. Was it pain? I don't know. I hurt but I wasn't dying. I have always thought that pain must hurt a lot worse. Much like dying! So, whenever I'm in pain I check to see if I'm dying and when I discover I'm not I have to wonder if the pain is all that painful.

Groups of these monkeys often establish
 a dominance hierarchy determined
by aggressive behavior. Just like us
and our health care system.

The experience brought to light the need for health care. I spoke to many people about the situation and a lot of them told me they need to have their wisdom teeth out too. That they had lived with the uncomfortable throbbing of those third molars for many years. They also made it very clear that the only reason they could not have them removed was not being able to afford it.

I lived with that throbbing annoyance of impacted wisdom teeth for ten years until I did not want to deal with it anymore. Thankfully when I was ready to deal with it I was able to pay a surgeon to extract. It was expensive. I was not happy with the bill. It dawned on me throughout this that people suffer a lot because they can't afford it. That may be common knowledge to some, but it still really frustrates me when I realize we still live in that kind of world.

It all makes me wonder that if we are all supposed to be equal loving human beings then why don't we take care of each other better? They have been arguing for a better health care situation endlessly. Nobody has come to an agreement and when they came close it was just more bull. We need to decide if we want to take care of everyone or let natural selection take its coarse.

I guess I am one of the few people who just wants the truth from their dictators. It's obvious that the people who can afford care get it and live. Just like those who can't get it either suffer and stagnate or die sooner. I want them to come out and tell us the truth. They need to tell us that health care is a luxury and if you can't afford it then you can't. Health care isn't a new Mercedes, yet that's exactly what they make it. But the people wouldn't like that. So they accept a carrot being dangled in front of them while being told, "Well, we just haven't figured it out yet!"

What exactly haven't they figured out about getting everyone health care? Maybe what they can't figure out is how in the world would we all survive if we were all better off? Maybe they have figured it out. It wouldn't work very well. Unfortunately we are what we are, creatures refusing to believe in natural selection and demanding to override it. I don't blame them. It's what we do! Humans, monkeys and insects alike.

It does not make me happy knowing that I get the relief in my mouth, sinuses and jaw that I always wanted, while others are basically not allowed to do so. It's almost aesthetic. It's a situation no one should have to deal with. If I needed a heart transplant I'd understand that it might cost money to save my life and that I might not be able to afford to save my life. But to have painful teeth removed and be kept from it? That's just deviously masochistic of "them" to put such a high price on.

We all may be victims of natural selection and unequal in wealth, power and safety. But I think if there's one thing we deserve it's the right to be slightly comfortable. It's the least we could do for each other in a world that boasts such things and rarely delivers.

I'll Be Hating Religion for Lent

Every year it happens and every year I can't believe it. People you never believe would do so start lining up to get ashes swabbed on their head and making "resolutions" to refrain from doing things for several weeks for the Catholic ritual of Lent. It's like when you find out someone cool is ... well, participating in something you consider very, very uncool. Which brings some very uncomfortable feeling to the forefront.

Some people say they're participating in Lent for the challenge of giving something up and staying away from it. That's as bad as people going to church for loving support of community through Jesus. More over, a pair of gays getting married in a church that honors a religion that states they are going to hell. You do not participate in an organization that you disprove of. If you do not approve of priests getting away with rape, the banishing of persons for sexual preference or centuries worth of lies to control the populace then you shouldn't give them the time of day. Isn't that hypocritical? I would not participate in any Christian religion because I firmly believe it ruins more lives than it saves. That's enough reason for me. It didn't even have to get to the way they conduct business or rape your children to make up my mind.

For me it's more of a difficult decision to keep liking these people than wondering why they have decided to do the things they're doing. I've always been out there with people and I happen to like knowing everyone. Plus ... people just freaking adore me. This fills my world with a very broad spectrum of people. And yet it still twists my mind into a billion pieces when I find out someone I thought of as pure awesome is a conservative-thinking Sarah-Palin-Supporting Catholic-church-on-Sunday-going individual!

How does that happen and how should I feel about it? I don't know if I'll ever have the right answer. There is no conclusion to thought of understanding how you can love someone and absolutely hate their views and choices. To most this is easy to deal with because you may feel that people are people and are allowed to get behind some pretty stupid business. To you it may feel like a matter of personal opinion and some sort of diversity. But you need to understand to me it's as drastic a comparison as finding out your best friend is Adolf Hitler. Not the same thing? I don't think so. Killing Jews is bad, but so is supporting an organization who has made gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people (to name a few) be outcast, murdered and generally treated like shit.

Would you support the KKK if they presented you with a challenge to lay off chocolate or saying "the F word" for a month? Probably not and probably because you don't agree with the whole bothersome "black people thing" going on in their organization.

As much as I'd like to continue thinking people participating in religion are as cool as I thought they were, I can't. I can still agree that they are "nice people." You can be a nice person outside of your affiliations but quite frankly we are our affiliations! A nice girl who knits is a knitter. She's not just a nice girl. She's a knitting nice girl. I am an artist and a writer. If people forgive the things I say and choose to like me detached from everything I choose to be a part of then they may seriously be misguided in that decision.

There comes a time when we have to tell people what they are doing is not helping. Just because you're nice and maybe even awesome is not going to stop me from asking why the hell are smearing ashes on your head in support an organization of old men who have enslaved people for over 2,000 years? That and think just a little bit less of you for your decisions to do so.

More Closet Dwellers Than You Thought

Recently I came across The OUT Campaign while browsing through the site of scientist Richard Dawkins. I had to click on the link because my first thought was what is this straight atheist scientist doing creating a campaign to help homosexuals? Come to find out it's a campaign about coming out ... as an atheist. It's true that many people need to come out of the closet for many things, but we rarely think of anything else but the coming out of the homosexual variety.

This all got me thinking about how much pressure an atheist has coming out in comparison to a gay, bisexual or transgendered person. Could there be even more social stigma and black sheepery cast upon an atheist than that of a closeted gay? It's a tough call to make. In the end it's all pretty damning depending upon the when and where. At the moment it may be worse to be an atheist than gay. As sexuality begins to be less of a horror, believing in God is still mainstream The Way to Be.

As a teenager it was difficult to come out of the closet as being bisexual or gay. (I did both.) While I never believed in coming out to everyone as particularly necessary, I do see it important today. For one it just makes life more simple. You shouldn't have to go through life protecting pronouns when you talk about your ... significant other. Clawing desperately throughout each conversation to talk about the one you love or the places you go, trying your best never to be completely clear and out yourself. It's a pain in the ass. When I talk about my husband I don't want anyone to raise a brow. On the other hand I still don't come out. I just am. Those who can not tell my sexuality from my personality likewise don't become surprised when I inadvertently come out in conversation. That's thankfully the world a lot of us live in today. Few people are surprised to find "a gay" among them.

Which is exactly it. We're finally in agreement that there are gays everywhere but how many people assume that there is an atheist among them? Just about as many who think there is a wiccan or satanist among them. Unfortunately it's yet another something that few people are thinking about. It's uncool. It's out of the ordinary. It's not on TV. Hit and miss throughout society you will find people who can accept you for being an atheist, but there are very few who aren't nervous about the conversation.

I am an atheist. I find that I can't discuss it much. I am also gay. I find that I can discuss that - a lot. People will accept me talking about my partner as my husband. The state will give us equal rights as those whom are married. They will all smile and nod throughout the entire gay situation, but not the atheist situation. Just the other day I was having an open conversation in a room with several folks discussing what each of us believed. One was Mormon, the other Lutheran and the other was non-church attending Christian. I noticed that when the conversation swung in my direction and I stated I had no interest in God, religion and was an atheist it got quieter.

It wasn't until I brought up my opinion that I don't care what people believe or think as long as they keep it in their back yard and allow me to think what I want for my own life. Then everyone was in agreement and continued on discussing freedom of religion. Isn't it odd how they felt an atheist point of view was included in freedom of religion? Freedom of religion is no religion, that's for sure.

Perhaps why it gets quieter when an atheist is discovered among the God fearing is that no matter how you slice it, you can't help but realize the atheist most likely thinks you're an idiot. There they are talking about feeding a unicorn and I'm in the same conversation saying unicorns don't exist.

While I don't believe in God I do believe in a lot of things. I can agree to a lot of cosmic theories and such things because they are universe-based. But I certainly do not believe in the existence of an angry sky daddy waiting to send me to the fire pit. I don't believe in churches or books written by men pretending they are the word of a god. If we want to talk about how everything is connected and there is beauty everywhere, then we're good. That's not religion, that's science and reality. It really is the truth as it's right there in front of us. The religious God has no proof backing his existence. If you want to discuss the stars in the sky and how we are all linked in some amazing way then let's, because we are.

Nature is beautiful. The galaxy is amazing. Our link to everything and what consciousness may be within that is incredible. Eternal life on a cellular level is something all by itself, let alone what more there may be to that. It is what it is without an unknown oracle in a golden chair upon a cloud.

One could go on forever discussing their beliefs and that's why it's such an enormous can of worms. But like most cans of worms it is important to pop that top. We're left with this hard to discuss subject that needs to be discussed as to lose it's ridiculous shock value. Just like men having sex with men and women transitioning to live their lives as men. Yet there are so many different personal definitions of "atheist" just like there are of a religious person or a gay person. And unfortunately when someone says they are atheist everyone assumes it is a black and white Gothic angry statement saying they believe in nothing.

Therefore I'll leave it there with the statement that it is not black and white. It is not Gothic or angry. I'm an atheist, but that doesn't mean I don't think there's something to life. Just not God.

It's Perception, Not Aliens

If aliens exist they are probably
Pete Burns and The Artist D.

I am not ruling out the existence of aliens from another planet driving fancy space ships (with probes!), angels, spirits, ghosties, auras or amazing visual experiences unexplained by science; but some people are just idiots. I have a "visual symptom." It started almost over ten years ago. The eye floaters you sometimes see darting around in your field of vision are actually permanent for me. Over time they get darker, stringier and more significant. There are also small dots, almost described as invisible tiny pin pricks. As well as "static," tiny points of light darting around across my entire field of vision.

If you experience such things suddenly it is always a good idea to seek a doctor as your retina may be detaching. However, on other people whom have to put up with this symptom forever it just simply seems to be a fact of life. It doesn't go away. It just gets progressively worse with age and you have to work around it. Causes are unknown. Head trauma, infection and lots of other general possibilities exist.

I spent most of my time with visual static without knowing what to call it or if there were any support groups. Like anyone with something annoying that won't go away, I want to know other people are suffering equally. Recently I discovered the name is blue field entopic phenomenon and plenty of people have to put up with it. It is good to know, because even after a doctor tells you that your eyes are fine you still have to wonder if all this junk floating around isn't "bad."

Doctors call them permanent floaters and either shrug their shoulders at them or propose shooting lasers into your eye for the heck of it. That being said I was stuck with the Internet on this one. The problem is that it took me ten years to Google the right terms to find out anything scientific about what was going on. Every time I would consult the oracle (aka Google) I would have to wade through tons of UFO / GOD message boards about how seeing things immediately means you are having a spiritual experience. One person asks on Yahoo! Answers if anyone else see small points of light dancing around in their vision when they look up at the sky. "Yes," another person answers, "you have the gift. You are seeing another dimension of space where angels exist. I see it too!"

Page after page of perfectly rational descriptions of people with eye floaters and static convinced it's cosmic revelation. When I was a child I used to look up at the sky and if I stared long enough the center of my vision would go a bit purple and pulsate with my heartbeat. The common reaction when staring at something bright for too long. Even then I knew that what I was seeing was in my head and the pulsating was because of blood flow. Even though I would pretend I was seeing another portal into some other dimension. But I was five, not thirty-five, and I didn't go posting on message boards that I could see into Zordon X. (Surely another dimension that exists!)

Sometimes I look up at the sky at night and without really being able to focus in on much I will see three planes coming in to land. The light on each plane form a huge triangle in the sky. I am instantly reminded of those Unsolved Mystery stories in the 90's where people claimed to see huge triangular shaped alien spacecraft in the sky. I bet that's what they were seeing. Three different points of light moving perfectly in sync with each other, in the dark, while their mind filled in the rest that it was one big triangle coming to get them.

Point being, for crying out loud, know what you're seeing and know that your mind is very inventive. We see things. It is our eyes that are seeing and it's only up to our interpretation how to process that. If you don't know floating shadows and static sparkles can exist in your vision then of course you would have to perceive what you are seeing is external. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, it's all in our heads.

In a Drunken Galaxy Far, Far Away

It's no wonder that people have such a hard time allowing gay marriage. Especially when in some states like Georgia they are still quarrelling over whether or not to allow people to purchase alcohol on Sundays! A bone of contention with me when living in Atlanta. In the state of Georgia they still have not been able to smack down the Christian right-wing fools and "convince" the senate for Sunday sales.

It's another bleak picture for change. Just because most of the country is doing it does not mean that everybody is doing it! In Georgia there is nothing out of the ordinary about thinking you can't pick up a six pack of beer on a Sunday for your day at the park. It's as if it's normal for people to not be allowed to do this.

After living on the west coast it is unfathomable that such steep laws against alcohol sales even exist. What is the matter with people? What does the restriction of alcohol sales on a Sunday help to do? Aside from rape the state of beneficial tax revenue and many other fabulous benefits. The only thing it does is pack the liquor stores on a Saturday night with people stocking up for their Sunday festivities. That along with leaving some very depressed alcoholics on a Sunday who forgot or ran out of their life-saving beverage first thing Sunday morning. I know you're wondering how could someone dependent on booze forget to purchase it on Saturday, but trust me it happens.

Have they not learned yet that if someone wants to do something, they're going to do it? It doesn't matter what laws are in place or how many electric fences are erected to keep a person out. They're going to do what they want when they want. You can arrest, fine and lethally inject people to stop them from doing something, but there will always be someone else following right behind to do it anyway. Is that a good argument for letting people do what they want? Yes, in most cases. Especially when it comes to that wise logic of do whatever you will as long as it's not hurting anybody else.

The only defense they provide for not selling liquor on a Sunday is keeping people on the straight and narrow with the Lord Jesus Christ. Which continues to boggle the mind because in the real world there is no Lord Jesus Christ and anyone I've ever met on the straight and narrow are the crookedest folks you could meet.

Buying alcohol on Sundays will keep people "good." Don't let people do what they want. People can't be trusted to take care of themselves. Is that how it is? Protecting the sanctity of the good folk. Those whom button up those blouses and fasten their neckties real tight, worshiping false idols in expensive churches run by child molesters and slipping politicians bribe checks under bathroom stalls. Those whom go home and close the blinds to practice all the sinful atrocious acts they preach against. But that's alright, because they do it in private.

What is the matter with people?

The Hallmark Syndrome

Warmed-Over Salutations

Most people seem to be so blown away when I write a nice note of thanks to them. They are so taken by the sincerity that they act as if I just handed them a bomb. This has happened a lot to me because I am honest. People are so used to the vapid words of thanks. Thank You cards with pre-written messages in them. They don't know what to think when they get something that actually came from someone's own brain. I've never understood any card with any message written in for us.

Even those greeting card commercials admit to it. They help you say what you mean. How come you can't say what you mean by yourself? I've gone shopping with people who are looking for a card that says what they mean for them. An entire store packed with cards and it takes them hours to find something that "sort of" expresses what they had in mind. It's even more fascinating to me when someone in that situation will say, "None of these cards say what I wanted to say!"

If nothing expresses what you wanted to say then why didn't you purchase a blank card and write what you knew you wanted to say? Possibly because they subconsciously are afraid to say what they feel. Consider this: How would you feel if someone hand wrote the same pre-written sappy message in most cards? I'd be touched. I am not touched if that message is printed in the card by a machine. It's insincere.

A Note of Thanks for Stopping By

Which is why they freak out when I write a nice little note telling someone about how they changed the lives of others. A handwritten, "You're wonderful!" It seems to weigh on people. It's as if you told them you are in love with them. It's the same reaction. It shouldn't be.

It takes no time for me to throw away any cards without personal notes in them. A stamp and the knowledge you spent some money on a machine printed thought is not good enough. It is something, but it's not the level I'm looking for. I appreciate the thought of not being forgotten, but I needed more thought than that. Tell me how you really feel. Say hello in your own way, not the way they wanted you to. Express yourself in any way that they didn't want you to and I'll always appreciate it more.

10 Commandments of a Realist

1 - People should be able to live and work around each other knowing the what people really think about each other.

2 - Ethics should not be treated as laws that can be broken. People are too afraid of breaking some invisible line that people don't say this or just don't do that. Perfectly legal things, too.

3 - If someone calls you an idiot you should have the ability to pause and honestly consider the fact that you may currently be acting like an idiot.

4 - Know yourself. Big meanies should be completely aware that they are indeed big meanies. Just as the meek quite mousy also need to realize.

5 - Love who you are. If you aren't happy with being a big meanie then why the hell are you being something you didn't want to be? It's terribly frustrating when someone rails against themselves their entire lives when they can be whoever they want to be. (They're just afraid to be it.)

6 - Don't be surprised. What's so surprising about it?

7 - They think what they think. You think what you think. Why are you both going back and forth telling each other how "it" is if you know that neither will ever change their tune?

8 - Stop wasting time! It's bad enough that most of the things inserted into life has been inserted with no other goal than to waste it. If you are allowing things within your control to waste your time you are an idiot.

9 - Social norms are far too normal to participate in. If you have been outcast due to not following along, please be thankful. If you can't be at least 75% of who you really are in everything you do, willingly or unwillingly, you should find something else to do.

10 - Being yourself, doing and saying what you want, walks a fine line with what the human race has decided to allow. In summary for this and all ten, quit being an idiot.

Wanted: Idiots

It never ceases to amaze me that an employer would rather hire a lying fake individual than a truthful candid one. Time and time again they hire the candidate who answers all the "right" questions and plays their game, only to find out months or even just a few weeks later that they've chosen yet another dud. Thus wasting time and money. To which the employer then exclaims, "I thought they were such a good fit!"

All because they found someone who answered all the right questions and stepped outside of the box at the times they thought the person should. If they seem too good to be true, they probably are. Personally, I'd rather hire the person who comes in a little disheveled. The person who doesn't go out of their way to disagree or challenge me at my own interview, but the one who seems to be talking freely without thinking I might be expecting constant scripted response.

Here's a thought for the employers out there. How about starting the interview out with, "Are you and idiot?" Maybe ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to. "Do you like my hair cut?" Perhaps, "Do you like my shoes?" All slightly good questions to determine if the candidate is in fact an idiot. For example if they like your hair and your shoes, they're probably lying. Who likes both your hair and your shoes? And if they really do, do you want someone on your team who likes you that much?

To me playing the game in an interview is the equivalent of all of Hitler's cabinet telling him there was absolutly nothing wrong with exterminating the Jews. It's why I never worked out with high level corporate position interviews. If you interview with HR and don't answer the cookie cutter question with one of their cookie cutter answers, you won't be getting that call back. Say what they will, but being inventive, nervy and cutting edge 95% of the time will not get you the position.

The only time being yourself gets you the position of your dreams is if you interview for those few legitimate Craigslist postings posted by employers who are "just like you."

In the world I live in (which has already been determined to not be the world you live in) it's better to fill your corporation with loose cannons than a bunch of bloody sheep afraid to step out of the box. However, on the level of the current reality it's much better to hire the sheep. The governments, corporations and religions of the world have already proven that the sheep are the best way to go. If we had a world run by free thinkers whom had free thinking assistants we might actually have dynamic change and interesting concepts. In the case of our current state of affairs it's much more simple to have the sheeple run by the sheeple. Just because it's easier doesn't make it right.

Perhaps what bothers me most are the ads looking for talented, free thinking, artistic individuals. When it turns out that they were just looking for normal follow-the-leader types pretending to be interesting. If they really want an interesting individual then they just need to sit them down and ask ... are you an idiot? Of course it helps if the hiring party was also not an idiot.

The inspirational portion of today's message, gentle readers, is that while I have kissed an abundant amount of ass I've never really been able to watch my mouth or conform to what they wanted. Yet I've always found myself eventually being the one conducting the interviews instead of the one being interviewed. Being myself to a point has landed me in rather good positions. It's a line I chose to walk and maybe I would have progressed quicker had I been the sheep, my predisposition to be "the wacky one" eventually panned out.

It may be the luck of the draw. The world needs sheeple just as much. The needs of the top would not be met without the worker bee buzzing below. We need the chanting folks who have dedicated their life to meditation just as much as we need the surrealist in town square. But we can't all be charismatic loud mouths. Oddly bringing me back around aching to make another Hitler reference.

Strange Land

Sometimes I look at myself from across the room. There I am on the suede chesterfield watching odd documentaries with my husband about Adolf Hitler's sexual fetishes. My husband whom is in a corset. I am in my pajamas and high heels. Odd canvases slobbered with my imagination cover the walls. Strange artifacts and photos of odd people from around the world fill the shelves. Sipping on some of the best bourbon ever made. How lovely.

To think this is not how the people live. To think they have to hide out under disguises of normalcy when no one is really all that normal. To live shielded by a job, religion, particularly plain clothes and accessories. To come home at night and watch what everyone else is watching. All in the home furnished from the store that everyone else goes to and purchases a duplicate of the same thing.

No, it's much better to be myself with all the other people who want to be themselves. The domme queens and plumbers in sissy uniforms. The midgets who like to dress up like pirates. The metal heads relieving themselves on loud. There's no shame or guilt in a true lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with daddy wearing a diaper for kicks or your climbing a mountain to worship no body. 


It's always been a circus that I've slaved my way towards. A good release of personality into a Rocky Horror Picture Show life. To think they'd want anything else. Jesus on a crucifix and a three piece suit life? They'd prefer it. It was death to me. Death to a great imagination and death by a non-existent shameful guilt. Yet they run towards that because they're scared. Too scared to be who they want to be. Whatever that might be. Maybe because it's a little too hardcore and nobody gave them their safe word.

I'll stay up here. I'll keep watching the Sheeple move along and think it must be some odd Sci-Fi series. No one needs to tell me it's real. Surely no one in their right mind would want the things they say they do. Crazy is sane and sane is crazy down here on planet Earth.

Zodiac Killer

I found it a bold move to change the zodiac signs (LINK) even though grounds had been found to do so. Growing up in a zodiac-obsessed mindset I know how important it is to know, "What's your sign!?" Changing it all of a sudden must have really sent some people into a tail spin. Telling a Leo they are no longer a Leo is like telling a Catholic that the church is a fairytale and Jesus killed their puppy.

In fact I was so surprised by the announcement because I was of the understanding that no matter what inconclusive evidence stood to change a tradition, people just don't do that. It's right up there with religion and politics. Even though we know some political agendas are a horror, that doesn't stop us from thinking people ought to hold fast to them due to tradition. Just because Grandpa voted for a Republican means you should too, it doesn't matter what that Republican may stand for. Just because science has disproved the existence of a Sky Daddy and history has exposed religion as a scam, you are expected to continue to subscribe.

Like an adult forcing their children to believe in Santa Clause we stick to the zodiac we know as much as we believe the horoscopes we read in the paper. Although there is something to be said about the truth to falling under a certain constellation, however on the other side of things you can fit into a lot of the zodiac descriptions just as much as any horoscope could be tailor-made to suite what happened last week.

Honestly I did breath a sigh when I found I made the cut off for Leo. I am a fiery rapturous angry creature who thinks he or she is king of the jungle. Knowing other Leos who are now Cancers makes me think they must be awfully pissed. The kings and queens have been dethroned and that is exactly what it's going to feel like for any Leo.

Looking around at the articles that have popped up the titles say it all. Zodiac Change Causes Panic, Zodiac Shift: A Real Mood Killer, Changes in Zodiac Cause Identity Crisis... On one hand I can say that if you needed to be defined my traits connected to constellations - you didn't have an identity to begin with. On the other hand we align ourselves with what we want to be. And telling me I am no longer labeled a Leo by society would be telling me that my name isn't really The Artist D!

Is it True that When You Were Born the Doctor Turned Around and Slapped Your Mother?

Some people are mean. I know, you figured that out already. I'm a very fortunate person that I get to usually live with my head in a universe designed by myself. Some days I get to experience what other people regularly experience or just knew already. Such things include gay marriage is illegal, transgendered folk are not totally accepted, free spirits are shit upon and a high school education actually matters.

Recently in the midst of a business transaction someone was actually quite rude to me for no particular reason other than they are a really bitter upset human being. The individual in question was so blatantly mean to everyone throughout the transaction that it was impossible not to note. Which in turn made me think just how terrible some people are for no particular reason. I may walk around calling people idiots and pointing out their flaws, but it's always a valid approach. You've got to show me you are an idiot. I can not just walk up to anyone and call them an idiot. I can not insult someone I do not know. I can not point out what I think is a flaw without taking the time to know there's something to be pointed out.

This person though, Sweet Jesus. It just makes me wonder the most simple things there are to wonder. Why are you such a fucking asshole? I suppose what it all boils down to is there are enough people and things in this world to be bitter, mean, angry and violent towards. That being said, some people have decided to wreak their vengeance upon small kittens too? It's slimy. A slimy way to be.

In a lot of ways it's like a villain in a Disney Movie. These characters whom were Just Plain Mean™. Who knew that there were real people in the world like that? A creature so vile and pointless that they are insulting slimy personalities just because. Just because someone stole their puppy once upon a time.

The moral of the story is grow up and find something to direct your ruthlessly stupid behavior towards. That is, something that provokes anger and not just the egotistical urge to steamroll the innocent. Either that or hire a Dominatrix and release your tensions by have your testicles squeezed into a small cage with needles. Believe me, it's worth a try. I know those guys!