It Gets Better Than What?

I often get in debates with my mother about how good she did as a mother raising a child. She doesn't think she did all that good of a job. This is probably the opinion of most good mothers. It's much like an artist (any creator, really). Whatever we write, paint or produce is never good enough. We're fabulous creators, but at the end of the day no one can convince us that our award winning piece is as good as it really is. Same with mothers. The good ones will never be able to realize they've done their best and raised something incredible. This is strange to me especially since mine seems to be on the same page that I turned out alright. Yet she still doubts doing a good job raising what has become so great.

If you ask me, the end result is the proof that you've done a good job. However, ask certain people and they'll never agree that baptism by fire is a good method no matter what a great metal it produces. It all brings up thoughts on this "It Gets Better" campaign that continues to rear its head from time to time. It appears the beginning of the 21st century has been dedicated in part to saving our battered bullied teens. Which is both lovely and a bone of contention with me. Nobody saved us and now just because kids are seen as more vulnerable we have to tell them not to worry ... it gets better. 

I'm trying to think of someone fabulous I adore, admire and respect who was not born from great tragedy and  strife. I can't think of anyone. Can you? Please tell me because the older I get the happier I am when someone can tell me one of my long standing opinions is mistaken.

Which begs the question are we saving lives, creating fierce dragons or crippling the already weak even further? As we say almost weekly on The Fabulous D Show, if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. If you're not going to be a warrior then what in the hell are you doing fighting? And if you are fighting then I guess you're a god damned warrior. Slap a name tag on and don't worry about anyone patting you on the head. You just go on right ahead fighting.

It gets better. They keep saying it gets better. It does get better. If you stay on your own course and stick up for what you believe in then it gets better. But it gets better because you make it all better for yourself. One day you'll be out from under the thumb that's crushing you. You'll be happy you were true to yourself after that. Then you can build your empire far away from all those people you didn't like.

I am who I am. I'm strong and born to be brave. Few people stopped to pat me on the head. I got my support and I sought my shelter when the shit storms came. I got it all by myself. Crafty, no? Nobody reached out and offered a supportive shoulder. And when I held the knife to my wrists I made sure it had more purpose than if I was actually going to kill myself. Don't be silly. The last reason anyone should threaten suicide is to actually do it.

Health Care vs Natural Selection

Recently getting all of my impacted wisdom teeth surgically removed at the same time was one of those alien experiences for me. The entire process fascinated more than scared me. It was all like a field trip to an observatory, from looking at the neat x-ray of my entire mouth to actually being put under. The recovery process was no walk in the park either. At the same time I wouldn't call it painful and it wasn't annoying at all, at first. It got tedious around week three. It all reminds me that I'm very disconnected on so many levels. Was it pain? I don't know. I hurt but I wasn't dying. I have always thought that pain must hurt a lot worse. Much like dying! So, whenever I'm in pain I check to see if I'm dying and when I discover I'm not I have to wonder if the pain is all that painful.

Groups of these monkeys often establish
 a dominance hierarchy determined
by aggressive behavior. Just like us
and our health care system.

The experience brought to light the need for health care. I spoke to many people about the situation and a lot of them told me they need to have their wisdom teeth out too. That they had lived with the uncomfortable throbbing of those third molars for many years. They also made it very clear that the only reason they could not have them removed was not being able to afford it.

I lived with that throbbing annoyance of impacted wisdom teeth for ten years until I did not want to deal with it anymore. Thankfully when I was ready to deal with it I was able to pay a surgeon to extract. It was expensive. I was not happy with the bill. It dawned on me throughout this that people suffer a lot because they can't afford it. That may be common knowledge to some, but it still really frustrates me when I realize we still live in that kind of world.

It all makes me wonder that if we are all supposed to be equal loving human beings then why don't we take care of each other better? They have been arguing for a better health care situation endlessly. Nobody has come to an agreement and when they came close it was just more bull. We need to decide if we want to take care of everyone or let natural selection take its coarse.

I guess I am one of the few people who just wants the truth from their dictators. It's obvious that the people who can afford care get it and live. Just like those who can't get it either suffer and stagnate or die sooner. I want them to come out and tell us the truth. They need to tell us that health care is a luxury and if you can't afford it then you can't. Health care isn't a new Mercedes, yet that's exactly what they make it. But the people wouldn't like that. So they accept a carrot being dangled in front of them while being told, "Well, we just haven't figured it out yet!"

What exactly haven't they figured out about getting everyone health care? Maybe what they can't figure out is how in the world would we all survive if we were all better off? Maybe they have figured it out. It wouldn't work very well. Unfortunately we are what we are, creatures refusing to believe in natural selection and demanding to override it. I don't blame them. It's what we do! Humans, monkeys and insects alike.

It does not make me happy knowing that I get the relief in my mouth, sinuses and jaw that I always wanted, while others are basically not allowed to do so. It's almost aesthetic. It's a situation no one should have to deal with. If I needed a heart transplant I'd understand that it might cost money to save my life and that I might not be able to afford to save my life. But to have painful teeth removed and be kept from it? That's just deviously masochistic of "them" to put such a high price on.

We all may be victims of natural selection and unequal in wealth, power and safety. But I think if there's one thing we deserve it's the right to be slightly comfortable. It's the least we could do for each other in a world that boasts such things and rarely delivers.