Monday, July 25, 2011
The Beast Within
Monday, July 18, 2011
Cellular Frustration
Recently it's become law in these here parts that you can't pick up your cell phone while driving. This requires you to wear an ear piece to talk on your phone while driving or don't talk on your phone at all. It annoys me due to the backwards ridiculousness of the entire matter.
If you're going to ban cell phone usage (i.e. picking up a device in your hand while driving with the other) then you've got to ban everything else. Let's outlaw eating large burgers while driving, applying makeup, masturbating, playing a game boy and working on your laptop. All while driving. I've seen people doing all of the above while driving. Most of these things take the eyes off the road far more than picking up a cell phone. Especially when the pickle on your burger falls in your lap and your digging around for it while swerving down the interstate.
I've always had a theory that talking on the phone is not distracting because your one hand isn't free. It's because you're talking. People seem pretty damned distracted when talking, whether these people are actually in the car or on the phone. Obviously a lot of people disagree with me on this one. I just have happened to notice that when other people are in the car with someone driving, the driver often gets distracted. It seems even more dangerous since heads are in the way of blind spots and there is general social excitement happening all within the car.
Ear pieces are a mess. You've got to pay tons of money to find one that doesn't make you sound like you're communicating with a tin can. Not only that but I don't talk on the phone all that much. When someone calls me it's important. When they call me I like to answer if I can. Unfortunately, I can no longer answer the phone in my car now that there is a law and a million cops jumping at the chance to pull you over. I will not be using an ear piece because the only thing I do less than talk on the phone may be drive. I don't do a lot of either on most days, so really it's a rare occasion when I answer the phone in the car. The two rarely line up. That being said I'm not about to get a call while driving, search for my ear piece, turn the bloody thing on and then start talking. Obviously that's a lot more dangerous than picking up the phone, never having to look at it, and answering.
Of course this law was one invented out of the lack of common sense. Much like "DO NOT USE TOASTER OVEN WHILE IN THE BATH TUB," the law of not using a cell phone while driving was born from similar stock. If you're driving like a NASCAR driver down the freeway you should exercise some self control and logically not use the cell phone. If you're taking a casual 95 mph Sunday drive down Mulholland, you may also want to think twice about taking both hands or eyes off the wheel. But of course people didn't do that and here we are today with a law punishing everyone for a bunch of people's misuseage.
I think the lady swerving behind me with her face stuck in her rear view while she delicately applies mascara is who I'm more concerned about. Of course I'm concerned about anybody who is looking anywhere else but where they're going while driving. I'll be very excited to see the outlaw of dining while eating. If I see one more person with a cup of soup on their dashboard and a tuna melt in their lap while driving ...
We discussed this further on The Fabulous D Show this weekend along with an amazing story involving Richard Dawkins, of whom we absolutely adore!
Listen to The Fabulous D Show every Sunday night at 7 PM EST / 12 AM GMT right here atTheArtistD.com. Where we try to give you the anti-opinion and the opposite view with whatever truth is left that we could find from the underground collective. Every episodedownloadable now, right here, direct from me to you without interruption from anybody I don't want you to hear.
If you're going to ban cell phone usage (i.e. picking up a device in your hand while driving with the other) then you've got to ban everything else. Let's outlaw eating large burgers while driving, applying makeup, masturbating, playing a game boy and working on your laptop. All while driving. I've seen people doing all of the above while driving. Most of these things take the eyes off the road far more than picking up a cell phone. Especially when the pickle on your burger falls in your lap and your digging around for it while swerving down the interstate.
I've always had a theory that talking on the phone is not distracting because your one hand isn't free. It's because you're talking. People seem pretty damned distracted when talking, whether these people are actually in the car or on the phone. Obviously a lot of people disagree with me on this one. I just have happened to notice that when other people are in the car with someone driving, the driver often gets distracted. It seems even more dangerous since heads are in the way of blind spots and there is general social excitement happening all within the car.
Ear pieces are a mess. You've got to pay tons of money to find one that doesn't make you sound like you're communicating with a tin can. Not only that but I don't talk on the phone all that much. When someone calls me it's important. When they call me I like to answer if I can. Unfortunately, I can no longer answer the phone in my car now that there is a law and a million cops jumping at the chance to pull you over. I will not be using an ear piece because the only thing I do less than talk on the phone may be drive. I don't do a lot of either on most days, so really it's a rare occasion when I answer the phone in the car. The two rarely line up. That being said I'm not about to get a call while driving, search for my ear piece, turn the bloody thing on and then start talking. Obviously that's a lot more dangerous than picking up the phone, never having to look at it, and answering.
Of course this law was one invented out of the lack of common sense. Much like "DO NOT USE TOASTER OVEN WHILE IN THE BATH TUB," the law of not using a cell phone while driving was born from similar stock. If you're driving like a NASCAR driver down the freeway you should exercise some self control and logically not use the cell phone. If you're taking a casual 95 mph Sunday drive down Mulholland, you may also want to think twice about taking both hands or eyes off the wheel. But of course people didn't do that and here we are today with a law punishing everyone for a bunch of people's misuseage.
I think the lady swerving behind me with her face stuck in her rear view while she delicately applies mascara is who I'm more concerned about. Of course I'm concerned about anybody who is looking anywhere else but where they're going while driving. I'll be very excited to see the outlaw of dining while eating. If I see one more person with a cup of soup on their dashboard and a tuna melt in their lap while driving ...
We discussed this further on The Fabulous D Show this weekend along with an amazing story involving Richard Dawkins, of whom we absolutely adore!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
No, I'm Nothing Like You
I found myself this morning on the unfortunate path called Memory Lane. I find it absurd to be reminiscent or take too many trips down that particular lane. While taking that trip I usually find that the people I was once ridiculed by have turned into everything they once seemed to hate. They ruined their lives by doing nothing with it and are now everything they told me not to be. The hay day of their existence was apparently somewhere between 9th and 12th grade in high school. Where they tortured me for being fat, lazy and lackluster.
Looking back I find them where I left them. In the same town they were born in, fat, lazy and lackluster. They look old. There are lines on their faces and those old looking dents. These people are the same age or even a little younger than me. Meanwhile I am light years behind in the aging department. I've done more in my life than they ever have. I've abused my body with substances to the hilt and yet somehow maintained a less abused look. I wonder if that is because I actually lived my life instead of circled around the black hole of what many call a home town.
Those from before who really bother me today are the ones that are dead. There's still not been such a nagging feeling as knowing someone who is on the same timeline as you has expired. It always bothers me, at least for the first few months around their death. Once I have exceeded their expiration date and am far enough away I start to feel a little better. I even feel better about myself in a survivor mentality. Even though I know I could get my ticket punched at any time just like they already have. Another one bites the dust and I managed to live longer than they did. Meanwhile I know that feeling is about as valid as winning a Bingo game. It's all random and you had little to nothing to do about it.
In the end I am so happy that I have nothing in common with these people other than the human condition. Remember the ones going on about how all we do is be born, pay taxes and die? Well, I'm pleased that there is a hell of a lot more to my existence than being born, paying taxes and dying.
In the words of Macy Gray, "get up, get out and do something." I may live. I may die. But I got up, got out and continue to do something. And I always make sure the RECORD button is on while I do it too ...
Listen to The Fabulous D Show every Sunday night at 7 PM EST / 12 AM GMT right here atTheArtistD.com. Where we try to give you the anti-opinion and the opposite view with whatever truth is left that we could find from the underground collective. Every episodedownloadable now, right here, direct from me to you without interruption from anybody I don't want you to hear.
Looking back I find them where I left them. In the same town they were born in, fat, lazy and lackluster. They look old. There are lines on their faces and those old looking dents. These people are the same age or even a little younger than me. Meanwhile I am light years behind in the aging department. I've done more in my life than they ever have. I've abused my body with substances to the hilt and yet somehow maintained a less abused look. I wonder if that is because I actually lived my life instead of circled around the black hole of what many call a home town.
In the end I am so happy that I have nothing in common with these people other than the human condition. Remember the ones going on about how all we do is be born, pay taxes and die? Well, I'm pleased that there is a hell of a lot more to my existence than being born, paying taxes and dying.
In the words of Macy Gray, "get up, get out and do something." I may live. I may die. But I got up, got out and continue to do something. And I always make sure the RECORD button is on while I do it too ...
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Road's Already Been Paved
Looking at old rock star memorabilia makes me sad. It could be the dead god factor. That being when someone dies you put them on a pedestal and make them a god. This gets even worse if they were achieving god status while still alive. While it could be that, it could just be true that something that was will never be again and can never be reproduced.
It's the depression that sets in when I look at Michael Jackon's sparkly glove, Sid Viscious' necklace, Madonna's "Who's That Girl - Tour" red dress or the underwear she wore as an outfit to a fancy awards show. I look at it all. I stared at that necklace thinking about how much sweat and blood it saw. How many parties and good or bad drug trips had it been through?
Those times seem to me like the perfect combination of drugs, fame and money to bake a cake that can never be baked again. I think this because I don't feel the same way when I see Gwen Stefani's outfit or what Katy Perry wore in some video. It's not because I am disconnected from current fame, it's because it's not the same. I love Gwen Stefani, but I hardly wanted to run over and hump her gown like when I saw Stevie Nicks'. Which is why it doesn't seem to be a dead god thing either. Stevie's still alive. So is Madonna. So is Johnny Rotten, well, sort of. But who they are now is so not who they were then. Nor could they be if they want to keep breathing.
Is it a love of a time period instead of a love for a people? Damn right it probably is! We all know Gaga is living in some kind of creative haze and Marilyn Manson will never deviate from his norm, yet it's not the same. I believe it's because those roads have already been paved. You can come flopping down a red carpet in a k-hole dressed in light bulbs, but it will never be like the first time.
Unless I'm getting old and distanced from some sort of glamour. Will your 15 year old visit a museum when they are 50 and see Lady Gaga's egg and outfit on display to get chills down their spine? I don't know about you, but I'll still be staring at Marilyn's dress in the next display.
With every new trail blazer comes the statement that it has all been done and said before. Yet with each generation that becomes more and more true. We're hitting the ceiling for recycled fame creations. You can only remake The Hills Have Eyes so many times. They do it once and it's ground breaking because it's never been done. They do it again because they have the technology to do it right. Why do it again?
Before Monroe there was Harlow and there's been a bunch of Madonna's after Madonna. I wonder if people will ever realize that walking on a paved road is hardly interesting. Just because you never walked on it before doesn't make it interesting. Knowing no one ever has walked on it before is what makes it interesting ...
Those times seem to me like the perfect combination of drugs, fame and money to bake a cake that can never be baked again. I think this because I don't feel the same way when I see Gwen Stefani's outfit or what Katy Perry wore in some video. It's not because I am disconnected from current fame, it's because it's not the same. I love Gwen Stefani, but I hardly wanted to run over and hump her gown like when I saw Stevie Nicks'. Which is why it doesn't seem to be a dead god thing either. Stevie's still alive. So is Madonna. So is Johnny Rotten, well, sort of. But who they are now is so not who they were then. Nor could they be if they want to keep breathing.
Is it a love of a time period instead of a love for a people? Damn right it probably is! We all know Gaga is living in some kind of creative haze and Marilyn Manson will never deviate from his norm, yet it's not the same. I believe it's because those roads have already been paved. You can come flopping down a red carpet in a k-hole dressed in light bulbs, but it will never be like the first time.
Unless I'm getting old and distanced from some sort of glamour. Will your 15 year old visit a museum when they are 50 and see Lady Gaga's egg and outfit on display to get chills down their spine? I don't know about you, but I'll still be staring at Marilyn's dress in the next display.
Before Monroe there was Harlow and there's been a bunch of Madonna's after Madonna. I wonder if people will ever realize that walking on a paved road is hardly interesting. Just because you never walked on it before doesn't make it interesting. Knowing no one ever has walked on it before is what makes it interesting ...
Monday, July 4, 2011
Mashed Potato Rule, Apple Pie and American Flags
The Mashed Potato Rule = There are so many variables that the connection is meaningless. For example, 99% of prisoners ate mashed potatoes as children; 95% of prisoners on death row at potatoes as children.
An absolutely incredible definition brought up on this week's The Fabulous D Show by Rainbow Mix's Frankie Dee. Surely, a definition that could sum it up for near 90% of media today. Article after article of vague nonsense that covers ultimately nothing. Yet at the same time satiates the masses and somehow leaves them not asking questions about why there's no content in their daily papers.
This week we had such gems including the news that children whom enjoy 4th of July celebrations will grow up to be Republicans. This ground breaking study by Harvard reveals that a whopping 4% of children enjoying these festivities turned out to be Republicans. A whole four percent? Gods forbid. Meanwhile, they don't seem to mention that 96% of 4th of July event attendee children apparently turned into Democrats.
Hear that and many more Independence Day debauchery as Vanilla Child and I compare/contrast the United States from our British Crown roots. The topic of death comes up mid-way and then we flesh it all out with the President's paycheck. What does he do with all that dough? He doesn't even pay rent!
Listen to The Fabulous D Show downloadable, ipodable, everythingable right here at The Artist D.com. All seasons currently available. Go take a listen!
An absolutely incredible definition brought up on this week's The Fabulous D Show by Rainbow Mix's Frankie Dee. Surely, a definition that could sum it up for near 90% of media today. Article after article of vague nonsense that covers ultimately nothing. Yet at the same time satiates the masses and somehow leaves them not asking questions about why there's no content in their daily papers.
This week we had such gems including the news that children whom enjoy 4th of July celebrations will grow up to be Republicans. This ground breaking study by Harvard reveals that a whopping 4% of children enjoying these festivities turned out to be Republicans. A whole four percent? Gods forbid. Meanwhile, they don't seem to mention that 96% of 4th of July event attendee children apparently turned into Democrats.
Hear that and many more Independence Day debauchery as Vanilla Child and I compare/contrast the United States from our British Crown roots. The topic of death comes up mid-way and then we flesh it all out with the President's paycheck. What does he do with all that dough? He doesn't even pay rent!Listen to The Fabulous D Show downloadable, ipodable, everythingable right here at The Artist D.com. All seasons currently available. Go take a listen!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Fight the Man, the Man Creeps In
If you don't think it could happen to you, think again. That's what they say. They aren't so off. It's ridiculous to me that no one can have a soap box on the Internet without The Man creeping in. It's why I try at every turn to make the platform mine. That is, the one I own fully and outright. How bloody convincing are you going to be if you post a vlog about anarchist freedom when the first five seconds of your stream is interrupted by a commercial about voting for a politician? How much of a fitness guru are you preaching that you don't need fancy diets or work outs while the feed has a commercial for an energy drink or "how to get a six pack in six minutes." You aren't a rebel. You aren't a maverick when the host of your video interrupts you with a billion sponsors.
Back in the day it used to bother me when there were other people's advertisements surrounding my blog or video. Now they are inserting themselves in the video and nobody has anything to say about it. This is my site, my videos, my platform and I'll be damned if I'm going to take the easiest way to get the word out. Which is why the word doesn't get out. Because you're over there going to the biggest video site or the most popular blogging site to get your fill.
Every week on The Fabulous D Show I try to put together something a little anti. That's anti-whatever. I'll start by Googling for the opposite of what everyone thinks about something. It's hard to find. They've buried us on this Internet contraption. Try to find the truth about a Founding Father or some real statistics on drunken behavior. Good luck!
If you're any bit of anybody anywhere you'll take the time to figure out your own platform. At least use platforms that do not put content in to your own! That's horrific. A practice that should have never been allowed to become OK. I can't believe you've let these ads appear at the bottom of your vlogs. I really can't believe you have allowed an advertiser five seconds before your fans hear what you have to say. I can't believe you stopped designing your own site with your own message where you can control the ads, all because nobody does that anymore. And I can't believe that with all the free internet radio stations on this planet you've sold yourself to an easy format owned by some other guy.
Listen to The Fabulous D Show every Sunday night at 7 PM EST / 12 AM GMT right here at TheArtistD.com. Where we try to give you the anti-opinion and the opposite view with whatever truth is left that we could find from the underground collective. Every episode downloadable now, right here, direct from me to you without interruption from anybody I don't want you to hear.
Back in the day it used to bother me when there were other people's advertisements surrounding my blog or video. Now they are inserting themselves in the video and nobody has anything to say about it. This is my site, my videos, my platform and I'll be damned if I'm going to take the easiest way to get the word out. Which is why the word doesn't get out. Because you're over there going to the biggest video site or the most popular blogging site to get your fill.
Every week on The Fabulous D Show I try to put together something a little anti. That's anti-whatever. I'll start by Googling for the opposite of what everyone thinks about something. It's hard to find. They've buried us on this Internet contraption. Try to find the truth about a Founding Father or some real statistics on drunken behavior. Good luck!
If you're any bit of anybody anywhere you'll take the time to figure out your own platform. At least use platforms that do not put content in to your own! That's horrific. A practice that should have never been allowed to become OK. I can't believe you've let these ads appear at the bottom of your vlogs. I really can't believe you have allowed an advertiser five seconds before your fans hear what you have to say. I can't believe you stopped designing your own site with your own message where you can control the ads, all because nobody does that anymore. And I can't believe that with all the free internet radio stations on this planet you've sold yourself to an easy format owned by some other guy.
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